I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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