are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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