Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize