Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Everyone says I win the strip club
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
