I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
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ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize