you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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