idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.