When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased