I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.