Texts From Last Night

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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.

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  (902): I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out. http://tfl.nu/3h1q
  Replies (13) Good night (893) Bad night (3058) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.

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  (480): A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card. http://tfl.nu/fah6
  Replies (47) Good night (4922) Bad night (830)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Why does Jon Cryer have a career?

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  That is a good question.

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  (860): Why does Jon Cryer have a career? (1-860): That is a good question. http://tfl.nu/v28q
  Replies (14) Good night (1164) Bad night (623) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?

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  (631): Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up? http://tfl.nu/k005
  Replies (56) Good night (6483) Bad night (1280) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.

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  (207): You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee. http://tfl.nu/mtea
  Replies (46) Good night (2384) Bad night (4593) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.

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  (937): talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive. http://tfl.nu/ejtq
  Replies (19) Good night (3968) Bad night (1043) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with

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  (212): the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with http://tfl.nu/bllr
  Replies (24) Good night (3300) Bad night (938) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up

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  (918): thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up http://tfl.nu/ajex
  Replies (0) Good night (1774) Bad night (655) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  you want your laptop back?

  (1-916): View more from California

  are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?

  (916): View more from California

  both.

  (1-916): View more from California

  come over.

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  (916): you want your laptop back? (1-916): are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex? (916): both. (1-916): come over. http://tfl.nu/ikpf
  Replies (6) Good night (3236) Bad night (663)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.

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  (573): I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon. http://tfl.nu/xp8x
  Replies (3) Good night (631) Bad night (1258) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.

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  (510): Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior. http://tfl.nu/2r56
  Replies (6) Good night (1306) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays

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  (+61): For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays http://tfl.nu/y95k
  Replies (3) Good night (898) Bad night (395)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.

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  (270): No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call. http://tfl.nu/mofx
  Replies (11) Good night (3466) Bad night (444) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.

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  (+44): You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality. http://tfl.nu/86pw
  Replies (4) Good night (768) Bad night (289) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.

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  (815): His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water. http://tfl.nu/symz
  Replies (1) Good night (604) Bad night (152) Order T-Shirt

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