Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
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She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize