weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
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I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
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I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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