oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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