Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
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Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
How does it feel to date your dad?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize