If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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