okay pat passed out under dana's car
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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