i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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