I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you