Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots