I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you