there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???