Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Come see our sink grown plant.
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hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
3pm strippers are depressing
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
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I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.