So drunk its hurt
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.