Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm gonna fight the coyote