I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
did i just pee glitter
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize