One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
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The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
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The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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