At least make sure they are 18
Why
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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