fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
