I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
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The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
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I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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