Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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