Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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