im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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