FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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