College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize