Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
