Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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