How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize