I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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