i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
