Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
