dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
