dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
