Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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