my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My bed smells like the plague
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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