glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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