At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize