Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
