I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
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soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
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I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.