the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.