can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.