Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
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i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
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I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
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