I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
she was so not down for the gang bang
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think this conversation is over.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.