ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
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Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
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Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.