i can juggle bunnies
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
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I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳