Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
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