i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
