I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Boobs are out for the taking
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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