I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
