I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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