So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize