what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
