I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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